When Everything is Awful

No matter how many good days you have, how many wonderful friends are in your life, how great your relationship with God is going, how perfect your job is, there will be days when it feels as if everything is crashing in around you and you just don’t want this particular life. There will be days when you are drowning in work, when you think your boss is crazy, when you want to murder roommates or family for not doing the dishes, when you feel like the entire world is against you and you would like nothing more than to lie down and give up.
This is for those days.
I’m not going to lie, I can be a bit dramatic sometimes when things aren’t going perfectly. Just ask those who know me best. When things start going wrong, I see it as the world literally caving in around me and I refuse to acknowledge that maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. I let these trivial things take me over and steal my joy.

God doesn’t want anything from me. He just wants me.

I didn’t notice how much this was a problem for me until the other day when I was riding the bus home from class. I was sitting there thinking about something I’ve been going through, and a stranger next to me, out of nowhere said to me,
“You should be happy.”
I knew it was God telling me to stop worrying. We are Christ’s. Why should we be worried about anything else? Yes, this life can be stressful and things may not be perfect, but does that really matter? We are Christ’s. So often, I get so busy trying to figure out what God wants from me, who He wants me to serve, where He wants me to be. In reality, the truth is simple: God doesn’t want anything from me. He just wants me.

If God is relying on me for the conversion of the world, then we are all in trouble.

A prayer that has been on my heart lately is this: Let me be Yours. The hard truth is that God doesn’t need me. I am not pivotal in God’s great and infinite plan for this world. If God is relying on me for the conversion of the world, then we are all in trouble. God doesn’t need me, but He blessedly allows me to take part in His grand scheme of salvation for the world. When I say ‘yes’ to Him, He is able to use my hands and feet to reach the hearts of others. Praise God when the words He gives me speak new truth to someone. It is beautiful when God meets my open heart with His will, but at the end of the day, God is not adding up my good deeds and counting my wins and losses. He is loving me, for exactly who He made me to be.
Yes, sometimes things are awful. Not everyone will agree with what you’re doing, even when you are trying to bring Christ to others. There will be obstacles. People will stand in your way and question your motives and methods. Praise God. If you’re doing what God wants you to do, you are a threat to the enemy. Don’t expect it to be easy.

There will still be people who do not accept Christ’s love. Praise God. Because if we reached everyone, we would stop.

We will not reach every kid or move every heart. There will still be people who do not accept Christ’s love. Praise God. Because if we reached everyone, we would stop.
There will be days when you are drowning in a sea of to do lists and annoyances and ruined plans. Praise God. It is not the sunny days that make us grow, but the rain and the storms. And how else could we appreciate the good days without the bad ones?
Praise God for the storms. Praise God for the pain. Praise God for wrecked plans. Because if we were in charge, the world would have burned down a long time ago. God has proven time and time again that His plan is good. He’s got a beautiful adventure planned. Trust Him.
It is a good life. Try not to forget that.
“Don’t allow any sadness to dwell in your soul, for sadness prevents the Holy Spirit from acting freely.” –St. Padre Pio

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song inspirations: “I Have Made Mistakes” by the Oh Hellos
“Let the Waters Rise” by Mikeschair

-written by Kelsey Ricketson, former youth minister at St. Mary’s in Caldwell, TX

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